The Avenue

What To Learn From The Tiger Scandal?

nickkendall — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 17:41:16 +0000

Today, PGA champion golfer Tiger Woods gave a statement to the media, after months of speculation, in response to the crisis he and his family has been enduring due to personal decisions he called today, “selfish and irresponsible behavior.”

In our culture today, with the instant access to news and events, people’s indiscretions are made available quickly and all too thoroughly. Not everyone’s flaws are posted on the world’s bulletin board like Tiger’s, but nonetheless, none of us are immune from faltering due to bad decisions. What really amazes me is how we are tempted to celebrate others faults and personal setbacks.

Rick Pitino, head coach of the University of Louisville men’s basketball team, too, has had his moral setbacks made public over the past year. Coach Pitino told police this past August that he had consensual sex with and paid for an abortion for the woman who has been charged with trying to extort him for millions of dollars. The woman began to pursue charges against Pitino for sexual assault, and Coach Pitino went public with the affair so he could tell his side of the story. Fast forward to last week when Pitino’s Louisville Cardinals visited conference rival West Virginia where thousands of fans mocked Pitino by chanting the name of the woman he had been in an adulterous relationship with. Fans chose to use the unfortunate circumstances of two marriages and families in turmoil to get an upper hand in a “basketball game”, what a sad statement on our culture on so many fronts.

This is at the core of each of our hearts. We relish others flaws and setbacks because it makes us feel better about our own failures, especially if it can level the playing field between the rich and popular with the average Joe. This morning I enjoyed breakfast with my son before taking him to school and we talked about the story of Zacchaeus and Jesus in the book of Luke in the Bible (Luke 19:1-9). A large crowd accompanied the presence of Jesus when he came to the town of Jericho, and Zacchaeus climbed a tree in order to get a good view of Jesus above the masses. Jesus called on Zacchaeus to come down and join him. This led the crowd to discredit Zacchaeus, a cheating tax collector who had stolen from many, and question Jesus’ motive to associate with a known scoundrel. My son and I discussed today how we all are not immune to making bad decisions, and because of this our need to be careful to not judge others when they unfortunately do the same. We have no right to condemn others for their sins, and even celebrate them, when ours are just as guilty and destructive.

The refreshing turn in the story with Jesus and Zacchaeus is him recognizing how he wronged others as a tax collector and repaid those he stole from and even gave more back in return. He more than likely wouldn’t have done this if Jesus hadn’t taken a “social chance” by associating with a known scam artist. Life is much more than pointing out wrongs, that’s to easy to do in this world which is full of six billion people who do bad things every day, but instead is about how people can find redemption in spite of their faults.

I will strive to extend grace to others when they are experiencing personal setbacks, because I pray God and others will offer me that same grace when I most assuredly experience my improprieties. I, too, hope we can see men like Tiger Woods and Rick Pitino experience redemption and transformation in their lives and marriages in spite of the daunting circumstances before them today. Don’t we all hope this for our own lives? I most assuredly hope so!

Amazing Story Of Forgiveness And Restoration

nickkendall — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 15:14:00 +0000

I am originally from Hereford, Texas in the Texas panhandle. Hereford is 45 soutwest of Amarillo, and I often check out what’s going on in Amarillo through the Amarillo Globe News website. Read this incredible story of forgiveness and restoration. I think you’ll be inspired! RT: http://bit.ly/2BZqaN

Link to Amarillo Globe News

www.amarillo.com

Genuinely Sorting Through When Life Dumps

nickkendall — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 21:13:47 +0000

It has been encouraging and overwhelming to receive reports from many who have been impacted by the stories on our www.whenlifedumpsonyou.com website. Encouraging to hear some speak to the victories they have received as they have persevered through their times of suffering. Overwhelmed because of the many who are genuinely trying to find their way through the trials they are facing currently.

This weekend I’ll share some thoughts on how I have, and hope to, overcome disappointments in my life.

Respond genuinely and honestly to your pain. (Matthew 26:36-42)

I am so encouraged to know God came to this world and experienced suffering. Jesus suffered more than anyone has ever suffered. He knew the physical, emotional, and spiritual ramifications ahead of him by being led to His death on the cross, and the event of His death itself. When I read His genuine feelings of fear and anxiety as He prayed to His Father before being led to the cross, I am challenged to be real with my feelings during challenges too. Jesus’ model of transparency is a great first step in sorting through when life dumps on me.

Find the redemptive solution to your circumstance. (I John 3:8)

Some way, some how, all of my challenges in life is due to the brokenness of this world. I am relieved, and empowered to know that Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil that is perpetuating the very examples of brokenness which we feel and experience everyday. This means Jesus doing away with the frailties and depravity in my own life which does not represent Him also. Jesus bringing redemption to this broken world, including me, is the most necessary step in sorting through when life dumps on me.

Strive to become a joyful reflection of God. (II Thessalonians 2:14)

I notice when I am open and honest with my struggles, and that Jesus has redeemed me from the effects of this messed up world, I see the beauty of God in and around me much clearly. It is powerful when someone who has been dumped on continues to find joy in life because of their understanding of God’s love for them. This gives me and the rest of the world hope to sort through when life dumps on them.

Nick

Finding God’s Love When Dumped On

nickkendall — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 21:26:06 +0000

This Sunday, October 18 we start our “When Life Dumps On You” series. We will be discussing why we suffer, how to cope when life dumps on us, and how God’s goodness brings us restoration during difficult times? The anticipation of this series has generated lots of discussion and participation through several individuals telling their stories on video and articles. Here is another story from www.whenlifedumpsonyou.com.

Loving Andrew at Face Value

by Jodi
On Tuesday night , Oct. 6, 2009 we sat in the waiting room of the hospital. I thought this would be a good time to “write our story” as the emotions were very real that evening. This waiting room is very familiar to us. You see, on Tuesday night, our son Andrew was going through his 28th procedure under anesthesia. And all 28 have occurred during his 3-year-old life.

We always sit in the same royal blue vinyl chairs, the ones that are right beside the waiting room’s front desk. We sit, anxiously awaiting for the woman at the desk to say the words “parents of Andrew Hillen…he is in recovery and you can see him soon.” Each time, we find ourselves in our own living nightmare; praying that we actually hear those words.

Andrew was born with a a craniofacial condition called Pfeiffer Syndrome. This syndrome results in the premature fusion of his skull bones. Andrew functions just like any other 3-year-old child, with no apparent cognitive difficulties. However, his facial appearance is noticeably different than that of other children, with his eyes being the most noticeable. I cannot begin to tell you how many situations we have experienced where children (and sometimes adults) will approach our family while out in public and say the most hurtful things. There have been times when children approach Andrew and point and laugh at him, asking “whats’ wrong with your eye?”. At 3 years old, Andrew calmly responds and says, “I had surgery on my eye. Dr. Gritz is trying to help me see. That’s’ why I wear glasses. I also have plates in my head.”

Andrew’s 28 procedures have been to help correct his vision and other craniofacial complications. Some of them have been fairly simple, lasting about an hour. Others have been much more complicated, and lasted nearly 10 hours. Examples of the surgeries include complete reconstruction of his skull (twice), cornea transplants, and other eye surgeries. Unfortunately, at this time, he does not have vision in one eye.

Watching my child go through this, and experiencing the hardships that come with being a family that’s “different” has been very hard. Even within our family, we all have different reactions. For me, when the rude comments come, I generally burst into tears and feel so hurt that someone wouldn’t love and accept our child the way we do. To me, he is perfect. After all, he is a child of God. My heart aches for him after all of the physical trauma he’s been through. My husband, Adam, has a very different reaction. He doesn’t care what other people think. He knows how wonderful Andrew is, and doesn’t let other people get to him. I wish I could be more like that! Our 5-year-old son, Bryce, thought of a brilliant solution on how to handle uncomfortable responses that we receive from others. He simply suggests that his brother wear a sign on his back explaining that Andrew had surgery and to leave him alone. Perhaps, we could even hang a sign on the top of our house with the same message. This ‘idea’ seemed comical at first, but then the reality set in that our 5-year-old child is hurt by these situations as well.

When a child has a condition, it involves the entire family. Yes, the child has the physical trauma through surgeries, treatment, and medications, but the emotional trauma affects all of us. There have been times I ask myself why God thinks we should handle all that he is giving us. I have even found myself begging God to allow Andrew to have a break from surgeries and regain vision in his left eye. After all, haven’t we been through enough already? I find myself feeling angry that our prayers don’t seem to be answered. I have even asked myself why God would put this stress on our family, wondering how much more we can handle.

What I easily forget is that life is not about us, nor our comfort. Life is about what God has planned for us. God has planned for Adam and I to be the parents of Bryce and Andrew. He’s planned for Andrew to have this syndrome, and for our family to walk through it with him. This is all part of God’s plan, and we are not meant to understand the “why” behind the difficulties that come along with that.

Occasionally, people will ask us how we deal with the stresses before us. First of all, we have wonderful friends and family that support us and continue to pray for Andrews’ well being. My parents are an integral part of how we get through the “day to day” situations (appointments, surgeries, childcare and most of all love). Without them, I am not sure what we would do.

Most importantly, however, is our trust in God. I once read somewhere “what you think about God has everything to do with how you live your life”. I firmly believe this. It makes all the difference in the world. We have no control over many of the situations we face. Our trust in God is the only thing that will free us from the burdens of life. The truth is, Adam and I have a long way to go to “accept the things we cannot change” but we are learning how to enjoy the gifts that God has given us and continue to remember that all of this is in His plan.

If you want to read other stories or learn more about our “Dump” series go to www.whenlifedumpsonyou.com.

God bless,

Nick

nickkendall — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 14:23:20 +0000

Opportunities

Inside and outside the church, hurt and suffering pervade. Divorce rates are rising. Health concerns know no names, just new victims. The economy continues to foster budget shortfalls for households. Past pains and failures haunt many. People feel stuck.

The state of our culture gives us a clear picture of why God sent Jesus to this world. Through Jesus, we have an opportunity to experience healing, transformation, and hope. In a world full of hurt, the promises of God are the only hope we have in enduring and overcoming such issues.

We don’t have all the answers, but we desire be open and genuine about how to persevere through tough times with God and through the support of a community around us.

Here is a story from one of our ladies at The Avenue and how she has had life dump on her. I hope you are encouraged by her story!

Death, Divorce and Single Parenting

Posted in Real Life Stories. Written by danielle on October 6th, 2009

by Colleen

I helped my mom take care of my terminally ill father during my teen years. Once I graduated high school, I went to college and met a great guy. We ended up getting pregnant, and soon got married. He freaked out. He started playing in a band for extra money while also falling into a drug and alcohol addiction. Eight months into the pregnancy, he decided he didn’t want to do the dad thing and I moved back home. My father died four months later. I was on my own as a recently divorced, single parent who had just lost her father.

My mom always told me life is not easy, and you get one day to cry your eyes out. But after that day is over, you pick yourself up and move on with life, and give it all to God.

For the next few years, I struggled financially with no child support. I tried to make ends meet and provide for my daughter’s day care, food, and clothes on my own. I longed to settle down, and with the right guy. My friend introduced me to a man she went to high school with. He was very down to earth, seemed crazy about kids. I felt he was the guy who I’d been looking for. We married after only four months of dating. Shortly after we were married, he became verbally and physically abusive. I got pregnant within a month of our marriage, but then found out his relationship with his business partner was more than just a friendship. The two men were involved romantically. We separated immediately, and I was soon fighting against the two men for custody of my unborn son. He filed papers saying that I was an unfit mother. I was a single mom who was about to raise two kids on a secretary’s pay, and barely able to pay for rent and food. I guess he thought I would not fight him or have the finances to do so. I was determined to keep my son, and I did. My best friend Judy was at my side as my coach during his birth and I will always be thankful for her friendship and support. The whole situation seemed like a nightmare. I couldn’t believe life turned out this way again.

I stopped trusting my own instincts; I thought nothing could go right. I was so disappointed in my two failed attempts to get married and have a normal family life. But I decided my normal would now be just taking care of my kids and doing my best as a single mom. I had days where I felt so overwhelmed by what seemed like one stress after another, but was always thankful for the two wonderful children that God blessed me with. I prayed for help and guidance all the time. I knew that I had made it through my father’s death, two pregnancies and births, and divorce due to God’s love and care in my life.

I was a Christian, but I was never taught to truly hand my problems over to God. I grew up in church but didn’t realize what a personal relationship with God meant. I didn’t realize I could share all of my burdens with him, and that he cared and loved me through all of my heartaches, mistakes and drama.
Now looking back, I wouldn’t trade my kids or what’s happened in my life because it’s all been part of God’s plan for my life. It has given me a heart and compassion for those taking care of terminally ill family members, helped me provide a listening ear to single moms, and allowed me to offer assistance with their struggles in life. Most importantly though, I’ve learned that no matter what struggles people are going through, God has a bigger plan than the immediate feelings of hurt when life dumps on you.

I ended up meeting a wonderful, Godly man. We have been married almost 20 years and enjoyed raising our children together. We have had our share of challenges after spending eight years as a military family and living 1,000 miles from family. We have always known that the challenges in life have strengthened our marriage and we always remember to laugh and love through it all.

We’ve come to realize that there are no guarantees in life. The year we moved back to the KC area, my son’s biological father died from an alcohol overdose, my husband’s grandmother died, my brother lost his 10 year battle of ALS, my step father passed away after two years of Alzheimer’s, and my husband experienced several job changes. We’ve realized that we’re not immune from life dumping on us, and we’ve come to anticipate the struggles rather than be surprised by them.

Do we feel dumped on? Are we angry? Sure, at times. But ultimately, God is our strength. He always has been, and always will be. The more I experience life’s roller coaster ride, the more I am at peace knowing that each situation will help someone else someday when I can say I understand, or it will be okay, or God has this and you can give it over to him.

Sometimes I do wonder if God really thinks that I can handle all of this. I struggle just like everyone else. But one of my favorite sayings is,

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning how to dance in the rain.”

I choose to dance in the rain and trust that God puts me right where I am supposed to be. I know He’s there for me, but I will be honest in saying I’m so grateful for the days where the sun shines brightly and He holds off the rain.

If you are interested in hearing more about our “When Life Dumps On You” series, check us out at www.whenlifedumpsonyou.com.

Have a great day, Nick

Welcome To My Blog

nickkendall — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 14:50:40 +0000

It has been one year since me, my family, and a core team officially launched a new church in the Kansas City area. There has been much on the “to do” list over the past twelve months, but one of them was to get a blog up and going. Well, here it is!

Why a blog? I have a lot on my heart to communicate in this social networking world of ours. I am not to endorse our church, or to promote the activities of The Avenue, although you are more than likely to hear about them if you read with any regularity from this site. What I want to communicate is my care and concern for the very culture I am a part of. The mission of our family and the team at The Avenue is to present Jesus as the avenue to transform lives and impact culture. It is through this lens I may convey my thoughts, reflection, or interpretation of current events, politics, pop culture, or the happenings in the sports world which helps me to understand how Jesus is impacting the world around us.

Feel free to share your thoughts and opinions with me as we all continue to dialogue what we believe to be our worldview.

I look forward to our time together.

Nick